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GOD I WISH THAT WAS ME
1 min read
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pizza drew monologue
6 min read
I edited this question tag meme to only have the important questions so here-
2. DO YOU LIKE PIZZA DREW
Pizza Drew I typed it all out for you Rock
Ok guys listen. I need a hot pizza. I just decided i need a hot pizza, I don't want to put it in the oven and have it come out- no shit it's hot. I want a fucking magic pizza that's hot already. I thought about delivery ok? I researched it. I googled it. You can't really get a pizza delivered for under like fifteen dollars I'm taking large pizza cause daddys hungry. You can't really do that with tips and the tax and all that shit, and then I had a brain storm. Little Caesars- that way- not that fucking far from me, I'm gonna walk five dollar- five ninety-nine- six dollar whatever the fuck pizza cheaper then fifteen dollars, I'm going to walk there and I'm going to come back cause I can't drive cause I'm a loser. Then I thought. and this part it gets- This is actually embarassing but this is actually what I thought. I thought oh my god what if someone from high school sees me walking around with a fucking box full of grease- look at little Pizza Drew with his idiot pizza- He can't drive a car to get a pizza ! He can't get a fucking pizza car for his pizza ass? Fuck Pizza Drew! And then that becomes my new nickname! I'm Pizza Drew- I don't know if you guys have seen Cyberbully, but that shit hurts ok? They'll hack my computer- they'll make my username Pizza Drew. I don't want that- Emily Osman. And then I thought- plot twist fifteen- mans best friend a fucking backpack, but on no is it going to fit? Can I shove Little Caesar in here and make him snug. I don't know so as you do and this is completely true, I googled average pizza box large size dimensions I got my ruler out and didn't really get a clear answer from yahoo! answers cause there's a lot of idiots on there that don't know what they're talking about with little like anime character avatars, but I questimated, I figured it out, not really sure what's gonna happen right now. I also actually added uhm two large zip-lock bags in here because and I swear to god- I swear to god Ill do this if the pizza box doesn't fit in my backpack I'm not going to just throw the fucking slices in there loosey goosey, I'm going to find a seclueded area- maybe an alley, to make the transfer between box into zip-lock and I'm going to put them snug in my backpack and walk home without being called Pizza Drew. Ok and a lot of youtubers make videos about their marriage proposal or having a baby and stuff I make the real shit ok? I talk about the real shit, so lets go to Little Caesars and see if its gonna to work, if it's gonna fit. Am I gonna make a complete pizza idiot out of myself or am I gonna have the pizza time of my life. I'm a Little Caesars. Ok so I'm done and first of all and before I say anything I want to just point out the fact that I just realized that I've been talking about how embarrassing it would be to carry around a pizza but not how embarrassing it is to walk around with a phone in front of my face literally talking into it like an idiot. Anyway you're probably wondering right now, I know the suspense is killing you, what happened. Did the pizza fit. If the pizza fits that's the old saying well guess what guys? Pizza Drews got a pizza backpack, that's right snug and tight, it worked. I was thinking like maybe the Little Caesars would have like- it'll be ontop of itself and everything would be falling apart. But then I'm like Little caesars, can it get much worse. You know like maybe this is the way to get it good, but maybe I'm gonna have to call them and be like you guys gotta put this shit through a backpack and then it'll- you'll get some good tastin shit, cause what you got right now is really awful. So thanks for talkin to me Caesar and I'll see you soon. Alright guys it's time for a pizza haul- big reveal number two did the pizza get all fucked up in my backpack when I walked it home and jammed it in here. You can see it's very snug, take it out, get my large pizza, open it for the youtube audience... pretty bad! Pretty fucked up, real horrible looking, and I can't wait to eat it, and I'm not exaggerating. I am into this. And this video is not sponsored by Little Caesars but I'm gonna tell you guys something right now the fact that it's not shows you how fucking stupid they are. Just a better view of exactly what happened here. We got a little bit of a, a little bit of a bump here, but that's kind of what makes a pizza fun. You know when you get those little, those little bubbles, you're like ooo I want that one! Move over Jimmy! Like if you have a friend named Jimmy and you wanna fuck with him, and you get him out of the way, and you get the bubble piece. Thanks for watching my video guys, I got the pizza in this disgusting little pile here, and I just wanna say I don't forget each and every one of you for watching my pizza journey. This is why I'm here. This is why I'm hot cause I'm fly, thank you. And don't forget my new catch phrase, I've decided I'm stickin with, leave me a fucking comment I'm very lonely.
8. why does no one know the bread video? i love many
Even now the evil seed of what you've done germinates within you
That is actually from a christan show called Rob Evans is The Donut Man
and that loaf is called The Almighty Loaf and has a fricking pillsbury doughboy voice
2. DO YOU LIKE PIZZA DREW
Pizza Drew I typed it all out for you Rock
Ok guys listen. I need a hot pizza. I just decided i need a hot pizza, I don't want to put it in the oven and have it come out- no shit it's hot. I want a fucking magic pizza that's hot already. I thought about delivery ok? I researched it. I googled it. You can't really get a pizza delivered for under like fifteen dollars I'm taking large pizza cause daddys hungry. You can't really do that with tips and the tax and all that shit, and then I had a brain storm. Little Caesars- that way- not that fucking far from me, I'm gonna walk five dollar- five ninety-nine- six dollar whatever the fuck pizza cheaper then fifteen dollars, I'm going to walk there and I'm going to come back cause I can't drive cause I'm a loser. Then I thought. and this part it gets- This is actually embarassing but this is actually what I thought. I thought oh my god what if someone from high school sees me walking around with a fucking box full of grease- look at little Pizza Drew with his idiot pizza- He can't drive a car to get a pizza ! He can't get a fucking pizza car for his pizza ass? Fuck Pizza Drew! And then that becomes my new nickname! I'm Pizza Drew- I don't know if you guys have seen Cyberbully, but that shit hurts ok? They'll hack my computer- they'll make my username Pizza Drew. I don't want that- Emily Osman. And then I thought- plot twist fifteen- mans best friend a fucking backpack, but on no is it going to fit? Can I shove Little Caesar in here and make him snug. I don't know so as you do and this is completely true, I googled average pizza box large size dimensions I got my ruler out and didn't really get a clear answer from yahoo! answers cause there's a lot of idiots on there that don't know what they're talking about with little like anime character avatars, but I questimated, I figured it out, not really sure what's gonna happen right now. I also actually added uhm two large zip-lock bags in here because and I swear to god- I swear to god Ill do this if the pizza box doesn't fit in my backpack I'm not going to just throw the fucking slices in there loosey goosey, I'm going to find a seclueded area- maybe an alley, to make the transfer between box into zip-lock and I'm going to put them snug in my backpack and walk home without being called Pizza Drew. Ok and a lot of youtubers make videos about their marriage proposal or having a baby and stuff I make the real shit ok? I talk about the real shit, so lets go to Little Caesars and see if its gonna to work, if it's gonna fit. Am I gonna make a complete pizza idiot out of myself or am I gonna have the pizza time of my life. I'm a Little Caesars. Ok so I'm done and first of all and before I say anything I want to just point out the fact that I just realized that I've been talking about how embarrassing it would be to carry around a pizza but not how embarrassing it is to walk around with a phone in front of my face literally talking into it like an idiot. Anyway you're probably wondering right now, I know the suspense is killing you, what happened. Did the pizza fit. If the pizza fits that's the old saying well guess what guys? Pizza Drews got a pizza backpack, that's right snug and tight, it worked. I was thinking like maybe the Little Caesars would have like- it'll be ontop of itself and everything would be falling apart. But then I'm like Little caesars, can it get much worse. You know like maybe this is the way to get it good, but maybe I'm gonna have to call them and be like you guys gotta put this shit through a backpack and then it'll- you'll get some good tastin shit, cause what you got right now is really awful. So thanks for talkin to me Caesar and I'll see you soon. Alright guys it's time for a pizza haul- big reveal number two did the pizza get all fucked up in my backpack when I walked it home and jammed it in here. You can see it's very snug, take it out, get my large pizza, open it for the youtube audience... pretty bad! Pretty fucked up, real horrible looking, and I can't wait to eat it, and I'm not exaggerating. I am into this. And this video is not sponsored by Little Caesars but I'm gonna tell you guys something right now the fact that it's not shows you how fucking stupid they are. Just a better view of exactly what happened here. We got a little bit of a, a little bit of a bump here, but that's kind of what makes a pizza fun. You know when you get those little, those little bubbles, you're like ooo I want that one! Move over Jimmy! Like if you have a friend named Jimmy and you wanna fuck with him, and you get him out of the way, and you get the bubble piece. Thanks for watching my video guys, I got the pizza in this disgusting little pile here, and I just wanna say I don't forget each and every one of you for watching my pizza journey. This is why I'm here. This is why I'm hot cause I'm fly, thank you. And don't forget my new catch phrase, I've decided I'm stickin with, leave me a fucking comment I'm very lonely.
8. why does no one know the bread video? i love many
Even now the evil seed of what you've done germinates within you
That is actually from a christan show called Rob Evans is The Donut Man
and that loaf is called The Almighty Loaf and has a fricking pillsbury doughboy voice
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